Q & A Archives

These are Questions & Answers posed by ordinary people looking for guidance.  Dr. Judy Baus has thoughtfully answered each person and feels that these responses just might help someone else in their time of need.

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11/25/2008 12:20 PM

Dear Judy,

Christmas is a very special time and it used to be my favorite holiday because of what it’s really about. But any more, I find it more stressful than peaceful. I'm already unable to sleep at night because of all the pressures this season brings. First, I can't afford Christmas presents for everyone in my family but they all get me something. Secondly, the commercialism and glitter turns me off. The real purpose seems to get lost, even to me, in all the shopping, gatherings and gift exchanges. We should be giving gifts to Jesus, not to one another, seems to me. How can I get through another Christmas and maintain my sanity, savings, and relationships?

Already Worn Out!

 
Dear Worn Out,

You are right about Christmas being a special time because it’s the celebration of our Savior’s birth. Christmas is not about gifts and it certainly is not about having sleepless nights and getting stressed out. No one can keep that from happening but you. You have to put boundaries around yourself and not allow yourself to be influenced by the commercialism of the season. Just because someone gives me a gift does not mean I must give them one. Do you buy someone a gift expecting one in return? Of course you don’t so why would others? If they do, then shame on them! Just don’t give that a thought.

In your family you might suggest drawing names. If that is not accepted, simply be creative with something small but useful for each person. Homemade items carry a special meaning. Or give a family gift. I like to give a simple but beautiful fragrant candle. You could put a nice tag with Jesus’ words on it: “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life” (John 8:12). Sometimes I find a delightful gift in the dollar store or somewhere on sale. The gift can be the same for all. Remember it is the thought, not the gift that counts! These are a few examples of small, simple and easy things to give.

Many families come together at this time and want to give gifts. When the gifts are given from the heart and with love, the REAL meaning of the season is not lost. On the other hand, many people feel the same way you do about the gifts and glitter of Christmas. But you’ll have to change this for yourself. You must choose not to get caught up in the gift and glitter stuff by simply doing something different, even if it’s against the norm.


And about depleting your savings, it is up to each of us to stay out of debt at this (and every!) season. It is up to us to show the people around us the joy, love, and peace this season is suppose to bring. I am not doing that when I am worn out, stressed out, and broke.
 
Start planning now to be at peace this wonderful season. Write down names of those you want to buy for or bake for. Get your shopping done before the last minute rush. Write down the different places and people you want to visit during this season. Make a plan and then work the plan. Jesus is the reason for the season and you are extending His love. That’s the greatest gift you can give anyone.

Put this stress-free plan to work and stay debt free and sleep well so you are NOT WORN OUT!