Dear Tired One,
I can give you some food for thought but you are the only one who can make the final decision on the outcome of your marriage. I find it sad when people go through 20 years of marriage and then think of divorce. My first thought would be to see your doctor for a physical to make sure there is nothing going on in your body to cause you to be tired all the time. I know stress and depression can make a person feel tired all the time.

After you get your doctor’s okay and there is nothing wrong physically, then take the next step which is to get your priorities in order. The Lord must be first in your life; then your husband. If you do not have your relationship right with the Lord and allow Him to fill all your emotional needs, you certainly cannot have a right relationship with your husband. Spend time in the Word of God and find out where your true worth and value come from. Your expectations must be from the Lord, not from your husband who is a mere human being!

Now for your thoughts about a divorce…I heard no mention of your husband verbally or physical abusing you or cheating on you. These would be valid reasons for a divorce. God says He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). So if He hates divorce and He knows marriages have their troubles, then He also knows how to fix them.

The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 10:5, “…casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” It’s interesting that it says “casting down arguments” because that is what is going on in your head. One time you think you want out of this marriage and the next moment, you want your marriage! That is an argument in your mind that you have to settle.

You have to cast down the argument for divorce because God hates that, and bring that thought into obedience with the thoughts of Christ which is to have a happy marriage. Whichever argument you feed will win. God’s word… or the world’s word that says divorce is okay?

The Lord hates divorce, yes, but also He is not in favor of an unhappy marriage! Ask the Lord to show you how you can make your marriage better and healthier. Spend time in the Bible and do what it says.

You said your husband goes to church which is a blessing that many Christian wives do not have. Talk with him about putting Jesus at the center of your marriage. Women are famous for thinking their husband should know what is going on and how they feel. Men will not know unless you tell them. Then start praying together as a couple. If you do not usually do that, just start simple and short. God hears and will help.