Dear Discontent,

Yes, I would say what a mess, but I would say your mind is in a mess and that is why your marriage is a mess! I am so sorry you and your wife are going through this. It’s good no other people are involved because it makes it easier to put back together, plus you have no solid ground before the Lord for divorce!

You say both of you are saved, read your bible, and love the Lord. Okay, then you must know what the Lord says about divorce. He says in Malachi 2:16, For I hate divorce! says the LORD, the God of Israel. So if God hates divorce, then that means He can keep a marriage together if it is submitted to Him. To read your Bible and not be a doer of what it says, you are deceiving yourself (James 1:22).

Jesus was asked why divorce was permitted by Moses in the Old Testament and His reply is found in Mark 10:5-9: And Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." Hardness is dull or destitute of (spiritual) perception.

If you will both stop and remember the enemy has a job to do. The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10 Do you want to allow the enemy to do his job and do it well? He wants to kill your marriage, but the Lord wants it to have life!

Stop and allow the Holy Spirit to show you where the devil got a stronghold on you both. Repent to God and ask Him to soften your heart and give you both spiritual perception in what you have done wrong and how to fix it. Put and keep Jesus in the middle of your marriage, stop the selfishness. Both of you must give 100 percent to the other. Seek counsel from a Christian marriage counselor if you need to.

Love is an act of the will. The will of the Lord is for your marriage to work so line your will up with His and watch what He will do to restore what once was beautiful.