Distressed
Dear Judy, This married couple are friends of mine. They are Christians and have four precious young children. Now I’m no expert on marriage, but I see things that make me concerned. She stays at home with the children and he works. She will have dinner on the table when he comes home from work, but instead of sitting down to eat, he takes 20 minutes to straighten up the house. I might add the house looks fine. So, dinner gets cold and the family waits while he does his thing. He knows what he does makes his wife feel badly, but he excuses himself saying simply, “Well, I’m just OCD. A lot of people are OCD” (Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder). I told him, “You need counseling!” Do you agree with me, Judy?
Dear Distressed,
Well, the key word I see here is Christian , so they have a counselor within them and His name is the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit uses the Bible to do all His counseling. Now, do not get me wrong. I am not against Christian counseling, but why not allow the Holy Spirit and His word to work first? Jesus says very clearly in John 16:13: However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority , but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. When we are saved, we have the person of the Holy Spirit living in us to help us with all things, including our flesh!
The husband needs to get in the Bible and see how God would want him to treat his wife with respect and honor. Most and foremost, the children are watching him disrespect his wife and her work at cooking and cleaning. To allow someone to wait and food get cold, that is sure naughty!
Always remember, as an outsider we never know the whole truth in a matter. So the wife might need to change a few things too, as the Holy Spirit helps her. Maybe they need to sit and talk about a later dinner and if changes need to be made around the house. Communication is where one person talks and the other person listens; then the other person talks, and the other person listens. Then the understanding goes from listening to hearing and to application of what has been learned.
Marriage is not 50/50 but 100/100! Both people must be giving 100 percent of themselves to the other. Thinking of the other’s feelings greater than their own.
Single people reading this, take head who you marry! Make sure he/she is first a Christian; then living with this concept! Each must put aside their flesh which means “me and mine and what is in it for me!”
If you have children or are going to one day, have the children remember first and foremost that they belong to God. Parents are only stewards over them and are highly accountable before God as to how and what we teach them. Children learn from our words and how we live our Christian life. I hope this helps put things in perspective for you.Recent Dear Judy Posts
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